After the wedding is over and the hot steamy honey moon is almost done, you will have to pause and think about the people who showed up to your wedding day.
Many people do not find it easy to approach certain subjects with a partner, but before making such a move it is best to sit down and face the reality of things. Marriage is not all about the wedding, the honeymoon and having a large collection of crystal glasses. The reality of things is that you will be sharing everything – savings, debts, retirement plans, career plans, how to educate your children, how many to have. So why not start with sharing your thoughts and ideas on these things?
Marriage is a merging of two lives, so communicate clearly, plan a day to sit down and discuss all these issues – it may not sound like the most romantic of pre wedding dates – however it is best to trash things out and walk into this marriage fully aware of what the situation is.
Future Plans
Where would you like to be in five or ten years?
Do you both want children; if so how many?
Would you both work or would one of you support the other while the children are still young?
When do you plan to start a family?
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Financial Plans
This is one of the most important topics to bring up – firstly because it seems to be the cause of most marriages breaking up and secondly because it’s the one people feel most uncomfortable to talk about.
Should we have separate bank accounts?
Do you have any debts?
What is your annual income as a couple?
Who will handle all the bills & taxes
Will you have an account only for bills?
Do you both have Life Insurances? Health Insurances? A will?
Could you save money if you combine health or automotive insurances?
If there is existing debt how will you tackle it?
What are your assets – what are you financially worth as a couple?
Prenups – not the nicest of things to bring up but if you have financial interest you would like protected then this is the time to do it.
How will we handle daily spending decisions? Should we have a monthly budget?
Work Plans
Are you happy doing your job at the moment?
Where do you see yourself in 5/10 years?
How many hours a week do you work?
What is your dream job? Does it involve saving money to achieve?
What is your retirement plan?
What do you plan to do when you stop working?
Will we be working different shifts?
Should one of us work part time in order to keep the family/home life running well?
Religion Plans
You would usually know your partner’s religious views before getting married however it is still best to ask some more questions just to clarify how you are going to combine your spiritual paths within your family life.
Do you believe in a God?
How much does this influence your life?
Do you celebrate any religious rituals or feasts?
Does your religion impose any restrictions – how do you feel about your partner not following the same restrictions?
How do you choose to educate your children when it comes to religion?
Parenthood Planning
Here again one would assume the subject of children has come up before you start walking up the isle. However have you asked all the right questions and answered them honestly?
Do you want children? When? How many?
Are you unable to have children?
Have you taken the necessary tests to be sure?
Have you discussed what religious or spiritual teachings you will pass on to your children?
Would you like your children to grow up close to your family? Would you move country or village to be closer to these family members?
Would you treat boys and girls differently?
What sort of discipline do you believe in?
Sex Questions
What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex?
Do you feel comfortable initiating sex?
How often do you think it is important to have sex?
Are we satisfied with the frequency of our lovemaking?
Do you believe in sexual fidelity?
In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?
Other General Questions
Do we always respect each others choices?
Are we satisfied with our social lives?
Do certain friendships bother each other?
Who does the cooking? Shall we eat dinner together everyday?
Are there any habits such as smoking or excessive drinking we are concerned about?
How close to our families are we, how often will we visit each other's families?
What kind of relationship do we want our children to have with our parents?
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Parenthood Planning
Here again one would assume the subject of children has come up before you start walking up the isle. However have you asked all the right questions and answered them honestly.
Do you want children? When? How many? Are you unable to have children? Have you taken the necessary tests to be sure? Have you discussed what religious or spiritual teachings you will pass on to your children? Would you like your children to grow up close to your family? Would you move country or village to be closer to these family members? Would you treat boys and girls differently? What sort of discipline do you believe in?
Sex Questions
What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex? Do you feel comfortable initiating sex? How often do you think it is important to have sex? Are we satisfied with the frequency of our lovemaking? Do you believe in sexual fidelity? In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?
